Open book

Retreat tomorrow. No, I'm not excited. Why should I be excited? Kasi overnight? Kasi may mga open forum and activities? Siguro excited lang ako kasi when night comes, mananakot kami ni Chin. Pero that's the only reason I want to go. Bakit ba kasi ayaw ko?

Kasi, as Pops Benj said, may parts na hahalungkatin 'yung past mo and iyon 'yung ipapaface sa'yo and it will make you cry and all that. Before that, the Marian brothers will ask you questions and you ave to be VERY OPEN in answering them.

I think nasabi ko na 'to dati: I'M NOT AN OPEN PERSON. I may be a drama queen na when I'm pissed off, I show it and when I'm pissed off with you, I'll tell it to your face without screening the obscene words kasi I speak my mind, mood and motive. Pero when it comes to sensitive matters, I don't tell my parents; I don't tell my friends. I keep it to myself. Let me tell you this little story.

on a cold fall morning, there was once this little bird and he was happily flying. When he landed, a cow dropped its shit on the bird. The bird enjoyed it even though it smelled awful because it gave the bird the warmth that it needed. While in the shit, the bird was singing loud because he was enjoying and a cat heard the bird. So, the cat dug the bird out of the shit and ate it. THE END.

Lesson: 1) Not everyone that drops shit on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who digs you out of shit is your friend. 3) When you are in deep shit, shut up.

And because of this, I learned na if I am in deep shit, I would rather keep mum about it than have an enemy of mine pick me up from that point and devour me. And, siguro, based on experience, natakot na akong mag-open sa ibang tao.

So ano na lang mangyayari bukas? Maka-survive kaya ako or will I just tell lies again para macover 'yung painful truth? Ewan. Bahala na. All I know is, I'm trying to stay away from my habit of lying. HABIT. I'm trying to be VERY HONEST.